This Isn’t High School Musical

JOURNEY LIPSCOMB

In the last half century, a vast range of iconic high school movies and TV shows have risen to fame. From Footloose to Riverdale, high school tends to be dramatized on the silver screen– but is there a fictional school similar to Corvallis High?

As much as I’d love to say that CHS resembles High School Musical, a significant lack of flash mobs, singing in the cafeteria, and school spirit makes it a stretch. Until our entire student body can arrange itself into a Wildcat paw based on graduation cap color, and our basketball team breaks into song in the final minutes of the game, it is safe to say that CHS is not the next East High.

We can also rule out the school from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, in which the principal commits himself to catching a student who skips school one day. While we can all relate to the metronomic tone that our classes seem to fall into, as is portrayed in the movie when the teacher chants the iconic lines, “Bueller, Bueller, Bueller”, our administration does not fall into quite a frenzy when one student cuts class. Rather, staff members often take interest in students’ outings, asking what they plan to order at Chipotle.

While all high schools have a certain level of cliquiness, CHS is nowhere near North Shore High School of Mean Girls. As is illustrated in “Cady’s Map to North Shore High School”, the cafeteria tables are assigned strict (and not very nice) labels, such as “The Plastics”, “Desperate Wannabes”, and “J.V. Jocks”. Our cafeteria tables are typically just a jumble of underclassmen who can’t drive yet. Also, the only time students wear pink on Wednesday is when it is class color day, and Freshmen don their cotton-candy colored powder puff tee shirts.

Preston High School is also not a stellar representation of CHS. The school from Napoleon Dynamite is a bit cringier than Corvallis High, and frankly, there are no casserole-eating llamas in town. Also, I can’t say from experience, but it’s doubtful that our tater-tots stand a chance against Preston High School’s.

The majority of our student body may be familiar with the tune to “Greased Lighting” or “Summer Nights”, but CHS itself gives off a much different vibe than Rydell High School from Grease. First of all, cliques don’t typically wear matching leather jackets adorned with their signature logo, nor does the student body assemble for bonfires and drive-in movies. Secondly, school sports and music lessons seem to be more popular after school activities in Corvallis than drag racing.

It’s clear that CHS doesn’t stack up with the fictional high schools that are known for their comical characters and suspenseful storylines. While certain aspects of our school may be in line with the culture of a fictional school, we can reason that either Hollywood exaggerates the concept or high school, or CHS is a terribly uneventful campus.

If you can think of a fictional school that resembles CHS, let us know at chsjournalismclub@gmail.com or at http://www.chshighoscope.com/about. We’d love to hear your thoughts!

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